A new motivation...

The death of a loved one is never easy to deal with. Grief comes in so many forms and it is impossible to know how you will react each time. My dear Nana died on Friday 14th March 2014 and I hadn't been able to see her since last October. My only comfort, which stopped me feeling eternally guilty, was that I had written to her a few weeks before to tell her that I was thinking of her and looking forward to seeing her at Easter. 

I always find that when someone dies who I care about, my main concern is how did they view me just before they went? It's not as self-centred as it may sound. It is simply my nature that I always want everyone to think the best of me, because I don't ever want to annoy or upset anyone. 

Obviously, being human and all that, I fail quite often in this endeavour, especially with those closest to me! In fact, I surprised myself in my recent job interview - when asked what motivates me to get up every day, I responded with "wanting to be the best person I can every day". I wasn't surprised because it wasn't true - it is very true! I was surprised because on the majority of days I get through them and then think they were a bit of a non-event. 

Soooo, I've decided to make this sad loss a turning point in my life. I am not going to just want to be the best person I can be, I am going to work towards it too!

I doubt I will hear whether or not I have got the job I applied for before next week, but I can't let that alter my plans too much in either case, so I'll go ahead and explain them :)

It is absolutely definite that I perform better as a human being during BST than during the rest of the year. I love bright, sunny days and get depressed easily when there are dark clouds in the sky (I'm sure many are now wondering why I live in Northern Ireland!).

With this in mind, I have decided to build on my strengths. I am going to work really hard towards all of my goals during British Summer Time (BST) and then take it easy and enjoy the progress I have made during the autumn and winter. I wish I had thought of it sooner, I can tell you! :)

The main things I want to work on this year are:

• Slimming and improving my fitness
• Learning to drive
• Getting our house in shape

It's going to be hard work this year because it is the first year of trying this approach, but I am willing to give it my all in my Nana's name. Oh, it was Lil, hence the lilac writing :)

Michelle x