A lot of my problems get blown out of
proportion in my tiny mind because I internalise them. I do say
things on Twitter and those of you who offer responses are all
lovely, but no one can know the full picture from a few select
tweets. The only person who really knows the whole picture is my
husband. Unfortunately, there are not many moments when he is not
extremely tired, busy with something else, or both! So I tend not to
bother talking over my concerns and they get worse and worse until
eventually I just have an emotional meltdown!
This weekend we are at my parents'.
This is scheduled to be my last trip before Christmas. I'm now hoping
that remains the case because Dad is having aortic stents put in on
the 15th and doesn't think we should come over. So if we
do end up over, it will be because something didn't go to plan. I'm
very scared about the worst happening, mostly from thinking about the
impact on my Mum. But anyway! *shakes thoughts from mind*
I just admitted this to hubby last
night – part of why I like to get to my parents' more often is
because it is escapism from real life. The things that I'm always
procrastinating / worrying about at home cannot be dealt with, so I
don't need to worry about them! I'm well aware that if I spent the
free time at home instead, these things could be to some extent dealt
with, but hey! It is what it is.
So because of this slight release,
hubby and I were able to talk last night. I explained that it is my
weight issues that are making me “blue”. We are both in similar
boats with regards to weight but we deal with it very differently. It
was good to discuss how we each think about certain things and devise
a rough outline of what to do to change things. Firstly we are going
to do weights together. I think just doing that up until our holiday
in 3 weeks' time will be a good starting point. There was mention of
the gym, but we both have sore knees, him more so than me, so that
might not be an efficient option. We can think about that more during
our holiday :)
I'm also going to try and cook more to
avoid us getting takeaways. I will hopefully get into my groove with
this whilst the in laws are on holiday – they come back the day
before we go! - and continue with it when we get home.
Some things I have to stop
doing are:
- weighing myself weekly
- using weight loss sites / forums
- worrying about it all the time
- thinking less of myself as a result of my weight
Some things I have to start doing
are:
- taking action instead of writing about it
- enjoying life
- talking to hubby more often
- focussing on my positive attributes
Miracles
are not going to happen, but hopefully we will have made a positive
difference to our lives by our September 2015 trip!
M x
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