Here I go again!

This is becoming a bit of a habit in recent years, but I think the time has come for me to have another little break from the internet social scene. I have so much that I need to concentrate on, so I need to take away the distraction of this crazy world!

Admittedly, it won't be easy. I've got some amazing on line friends and I'll miss you all heaps! I feel bad for abandoning you as well, but I think most of you will do just fine without me for a while. 

When I say a while, I'm thinking until the end of August. 

In that time, I will be working on the following:

• passing my driving test
• finishing the house move
• losing 10lbs

I'll be around for while longer this evening and then I'm signing out. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of the summer and I will look forward to updating you all in a few weeks' time! 

Stay cool!

M x

Opening old wounds!

Work is going great this week – my new Payroll Controller hasn’t really started on my client yet so I’ve been working under my own steam, which I am used to from when I’ve been covering leave, so it’s been ok in the most part. I also chaired the client conference call for the first time yesterday and that went well, so I got a real buzz J Another good thing about it was that we had no errors that were our fault in June, even though my Payroll Controller was 2/3s into his new client’s work for most of the month, so that reflected really well on me to management here. :D

Today I did something really stupid and unproductive though. I was online looking for an address for client’s Finance Dept and the jobs tab caught my eye. I then, in my infinite wisdom, decided to do a national job search for “admin”. It was amazing how many NHS jobs there are at the moment, definitely worth looking at if you have admin skills! Then the thing I was looking for but didn’t really want to find was there in front of me. This job:
http://www.jobs.nhs.uk/xi/vacancy/0a6408043ed614263b18076a3998aa5f/?vac_ref=913430811

Please check the link before continuing to read, or this won’t make a lot of sense!

I should point out here that ESR is basically my bread & butter. There is little in my job that I can do without using it. This has been the case for over 4 years.

I would absolutely LOVE to live in York, because I think it is a beautiful, larger version of my home town (they both have a minster and cobbled streets). Willerby is pretty nice too, but doesn’t have the best public transport links to my home town. I had a temp job there once and had to wait an hour after finishing for the bus home (which itself took almost an hour!)!

Of course, on that salary in that geographical area, I could easily afford a wee car so that wouldn’t be an issue.

Anyway, my point is this. Just when things are going so great for me (because they are, all things considered) I do something stupid like this that makes me hanker for being back home! I actually feel like crying as I type this, because it’s such a perfect opportunity that I cannot possibly avail of!

My lifestyle is very simple and transferable – work, eat, sleep, holiday, visit family – so that’s not even the issue. The issue is that I am not free to do as I please. I am not “I” but half of “we”. Please believe me when I say, I absolutely do not wish to be anything else other than that. The problem is, the other half of “we” has never lived anywhere else but here. He is very close to his parents & we see them several times a week as well as him phoning them most days whether one party is on holiday or not. He has worked his way up in this company to the reasonable salary that he is currently on. His qualifications stopped at A Levels. What I’m saying is, even if he took the plunge and said, “yeah we can move over there” (extremely unlikely!), he would really struggle to get a job!

My heart is breaking here. I’ve rarely been so tempted to swear as right now when I ask myself why I did this search! (those that know me well will know that I never, ever swear).

Why, why, why, why, oh why did I do this???!!!! :’(

Moving forward...

So, this week I launched my list of 40 things to do before I'm 40. In the run up to launch day (my birthday), I was very excited. Once I'd published it though, I came over very overwhelmed! My new blog about the list has been very well received and I am really pleased about that. The problem is, I now have to actually do things and then write about them! Eeeek! 

But hey, I knew it was coming since I wrote the list lol. 

Also this week, hubby & I agreed to phone the landlord and say we'd definitely be leaving the house at the end of August. I've wanted to use that word "definitely" for sooo long now, but now that I actually said it, I am petrified! There is a heck of a lot of work still to do and it would be a tall order for someone in good health, let alone for us! 

I am pleased to say though, today we made a start on tidying and moving things around in our house ready for bringing things down. It's so important that we keep the lines of communication open because I've run away with myself on things and then hubby doesn't agree and it's a big shock to me! Today I heard some words that I hope to hear more often from hubby during this process: "I suppose in a house this size it's a luxury we can't afford". :D Fingers crossed that attitude prevails and we can agree to totally downsize! :D

Hubby asked me last night did I want to take a trip home. I burst into tears. He took that as a yes. I have been really struggling lately and he had noticed, much to my surprise! As long as we achieve some progress before we go, it will be a welcome break. If we don't, it will feel like running away from things, which is not such a positive.  We're probably going on 10th July for a long weekend, which gives us tomorrow and next weekend to make progress. Feasible, IBS/ headaches/ ridiculous workloads permitting! 

This is really happening, at last! We are going to empty the rental house, significantly reduce our financial outgoings, and make our house a home! Woohoo! :D